How does this sentence sound to you ?

[pontios]

Any chance of providing the original sentence in Greek?

I'm running for cover now, as I bare my soul :

Εκείνο κιόλας το βράδυ αποφάσισε να το ρίξει στο μικρεμπόριο για την εξασφάλισή τροφίμων, όσο διάστημα θα διαρκούσε η Γερμανική κατοχή.

I'll give you the reasons why I took some liberties with this translation.
Two sentences prior, it had already been established that he had returned late that evening, just before dusk, and that he was making new plans whilst unloading his wagon (at his new home) in Florina. So I translated "Εκείνο κιόλας το βράδυ", as "there and then", to bring an idiom into play (and I felt time was of little consequence, anyway).

I thought I should also take into account that Barba-Dimitri (the character concerned) was already involved in merchandising. in Thessaloniki, at the onset of the Occupation (something that the sentence in Greek seemed to ignore). So what he was in fact doing was deciding to stick to merchandising, for the long haul (for the duration of the Occupation) and I just wanted to reconcile this sentence with the storyline (thus ensure consistency).
I translated "εξασφάλισή τροφίμων" as "providing for his family".

I introduced "chance" into it and I regret it. That was entirely my doing.
I nevertheless wanted to see if someone else could sense a flaw with the sentence and I think it was worthwhile to examine it, for that very reason.
I also thought it (merchandising) should be stated as the "best way" ; the best (most suitable) option for him, to provide for his family.

 

[pontios]

I suppose I could have gone with something like ;

He decided, there and then, that he would throw himself into ( or he would commit himself, wholeheartedly ? ,to) merchandising for the long haul (or for however long the Occupation happens to last) to provide for his family.

Does the more literal translation sound better ?

 

[cougr]

Don't have the time to finesse it right now but my immediate attempt at it is this:

That very evening/same night he decided that in order to secure food for the table he would throw himself (wholeheartedly) into merchandising for the length of the Occupation/for as long as the Occupation would last.

 

[cougr]

In place of "wholeheartedly" you may want to consider "earnestly".

 

[pontios]

Thanks cougr, I appreciate your help.
I'll need to rework some other sentences in the book, so I'll be posting more in the future.

 

[pontios]

Does this read ok, by the way ?

He decided, that very evening, that he would throw himself into merchandising, during the Occupation (for however long it would last), to ensure there'd be food on the table.

or ?

He decided, that very evening, that he would throw himself into merchandising, during the Occupation (for as long as it would last), to ensure there'd be food on the table

 

[Jacquelineditor]

Does this read ok, by the way ?

He decided, that very evening, that he would throw himself into merchandising, during the Occupation (for however long it would last), to ensure there'd be food on the table.

or ?

He decided, that very evening, that he would throw himself into merchandising, during the Occupation (for as long as it would last), to ensure there'd be food on the table

No comma after merchandising!!

 

[pontios]

Thank you Jacqueline and I actually realised that, but it was too late to edit (at that stage).
It makes perfect sense that "during the Occupation" should directly follow merchandising, without the comma, as it's part of the same clause.

 

[cougr]

Does this read ok, by the way ?

........during the Occupation (for however long it would last)..........

or ?

...... during the Occupation (for as long as it would last).........

I think you nailed it previously with: "for the duration of the Occupation".

It's incredible that after 29 posts (and still counting) we're still chipping away at this.:)

 

[pontios]

I think you nailed it previously with: "for the duration of the Occupation".

It's incredible that after 29 posts (and still counting) we're still chipping away at this.:)

Very well, then ; let's hope the punctuation is right.

With a drum roll, fanfare. ticker-tape parade, salvo, plus "Ode to Joy" playing in the background, followed by a sigh of relief ; our peripatetic journey is officially over and here it is, set in stone :

He decided, that very evening, that he would throw himself into merchandising for the duration of the Occupation, to ensure there'd be food on the table.

 

[pontios]

Actually, I don't like the two "thats", at the start of the sentence, so I've reverted to "there and then".

So now it's set in stone : :blush: (granite, not sandstone this time)
He decided, there and then, that he would throw himself into merchandising for the duration of the Occupation, to ensure there'd be food on the table.

 

[nickel]

Hi, I'm back. And I still love the simplicity of:

He decided, there and then, that his best chance of providing for his family during the Occupation was to stick to merchandising.

(Chris, change 'stick' if you think the situation is different. And stop going round in circles. You're only getting dizzy and making it worse. :) )

 

[pontios]

Hi, I'm back. And I still love the simplicity of:

He decided, there and then, that his best chance of providing for his family during the Occupation was to stick to merchandising.

(Chris, change 'stick' if you think the situation is different. And stop going round in circles. You're only getting dizzy and making it worse. :) )

Sorry, you're right of course Nick and I'll try to be more careful in the future.

It is simple and it was my first choice, but I can't get past the fact that it's a flawed sentence and that I sensed it as such.

He decided, there and then, that merchandising would offer him the best chance to provide for his family during the Occupation.

 

[Jacquelineditor]

But, the expression is "then and there" -- reversing the two words does not sound right at all. Mind you, even granite becomes sand if you wait long enough...

 

[nickel]

But, the expression is "then and there" -- reversing the two words does not sound right at all.

Καλημέρα. I don't know about your side of the Atlantic, but the Brits are not so particular about it:
there and then
then and there
In Google books, the latter gives twice as many hits. "There and then" is correct in only about 1,310,000 cases. :)

 

[Jacquelineditor]

Καλημέρα. I don't know about your side of the Atlantic, but the Brits are not so particular about it:
there and then
then and there
In Google books, the latter gives twice as many hits. "There and then" is correct in only about 1,310,000 cases. :)

Oh, all right, if you say so...I've never heard it the British way (inverted). Two countries divided by a common language!