Μια και αναφέραμε τον Σιρανό, αποφάσισα να ανεβάσω εδώ μερικές διαφορετικές εκδοχές του διάσημου μονολόγου για τη μύτη του, ιδίως αφού έχουμε δύο τουλάχιστον καλές κινηματογραφικές ερμηνείες αλλά και μια ενδιαφέρουσα παραλλαγή του μονολόγου στη Ρωξάνη.
Πρώτα, ο μονόλογος στο πρωτότυπο του Ροστάν και σε έμμετρη μετάφραση:
Ο μονόλογος του Σιρανό στο έργο του Ροστάν
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Translated from the French by Gladys Thomas and Mary F. Guillemard
Ah! non! c’est un peu court, jeune homme!|Ah no! young blade! That was a trifle short!
On pouvait dire... Oh! Dieu!... bien des choses en somme... |You might have said at least a hundred things
En variant le ton,—par exemple, tenez:|By varying the tone... like this, suppose,...
Agressif: “Moi, monsieur, si j’avais un tel nez|Aggressive: ‘Sir, if I had such a nose
Il faudrait sur-le-champ que je me l’amputasse!”|I’d amputate it!’ Friendly: ‘When you sup,
Amical: “Mais il doit tremper dans votre tasse!|it must annoy you, dipping in your cup;
Pour boire, faites-vous fabriquer un hanap!”|You need a drinking-bowl of special shape!’
Descriptif: “C’est un roc!... c’est un pic!... c’est un cap!|Descriptive: ‘'Tis a rock!... a peak!... a cape!
Que dis-je, c’est un cap?... C’est une péninsule!”|—A cape, forsooth! ‘Tis a peninsular!’
Curieux: “De quoi sert cette oblongue capsule?|Curious: ‘How serves that oblong capsular?
D’écritoire, monsieur, ou de boîte à ciseaux?”|For scissor-sheath? Or pot to hold your ink?’
Gracieux: “Aimez-vous à ce point les oiseaux|Gracious: ‘You love the little birds, I think?
Que paternellement vous vous préoccupâtes|I see you’ve managed with a fond research
De tendre ce perchoir à leur petites pattes?”|To find their tiny claws a roomy perch!’
Truculent: “Ça, monsieur, lorsque vous pétunez,|Truculent: ‘When you smoke your pipe... suppose
La vapeur du tabac vous sort-elle du nez|That the tobacco-smoke spouts from your nose—
Sans qu’un voisin ne crie au feu de cheminée?”|Do not the neighbors, as the fumes rise higher,
|Cry terror-struck: “The chimney is afire”?’
Prévenant: “Gardez-vous, votre tête entraînée|Considerate: ‘Take care,... your head bowed low
Par ce poids, de tomber en avant sur le sol!”|By such a weight... lest head o’er heels you go!’
Tendre: “Faites-lui faire un petit parasol|Tender: ‘Pray get a small umbrella made,
De peur que sa couleur au soleil ne se fane!”|Lest its bright color in the sun should fade!’
Pédant: “L’animal seul, monsieur, qu’Aristophane|Pedantic: ‘That beast Aristophanes
Appelle Hippocampelephantocamélos|Names Hippocamelelephantoles
Dut avoir sous le front tant de chair sur tant d’os!”|Must have possessed just such a solid lump
|Of flesh and bone, beneath his forehead’s bump!’
Cavalier: ‘Quoi, l’ami, ce croc est à la mode?|Cavalier: ‘The last fashion, friend, that hook?
Pour pendre son chapeau, c’est vraiment très commode!’|To hang your hat on? ‘Tis a useful crook!’
Emphatique: “Aucun vent ne peut, nez magistral,|Emphatic: ‘No wind, O majestic nose,
T’enrhumer tout entier, excepté le mistral!”|Can give THEE cold!—save when the mistral blows!’
Dramatique: “C’est la Mer Rouge quand il saigne!”|Dramatic: ‘When it bleeds, what a Red Sea!’
Admiratif: “Pour un parfumeur, quelle enseigne!”|Admiring: ‘Sign for a perfumery!’
Lyrique: “Est-ce une conque, êtes-vous un triton?”|Lyric: ‘Is this a conch?... a Triton you?’
Naïf: “Ce monument, quand le visite-t-on?”|Simple: ‘When is the monument on view?’
Respectueux: “Souffrez, monsieur, qu’on vous salue,|
C’est là ce qui s’appelle avoir pignon sur rue!”|
Campagnard: “Hé, ardé! C’est-y un nez? Nanain!|Rustic: ‘That thing a nose? Marry-come-up!
C’est queuqu’navet géant ou ben queuqu’melon nain!”|'Tis a dwarf pumpkin, or a prize turnip!’
Militaire: “Pointez contre cavalerie!”|Military: ‘Point against cavalry!’
Pratique: “Voulez-vous le mettre en loterie?|Practical: ‘Put it in a lottery!
Assurément, monsieur, ce sera le gros lot!”|Assuredly 'twould be the biggest prize!’
Enfin, parodiant Pyrame en un sanglot:|Or... parodying Pyramus’ sighs...
“Le voilà donc ce nez qui des traits de son maître|‘Behold the nose that mars the harmony
A détruit l’harmonie! Il en rougit, le traître!”|Of its master’s phiz! blushing its treachery!’
—Voilà ce qu’à peu près, mon cher, vous m’auriez dit|—Such, my dear sir, is what you might have said,
Si vous aviez un peu de lettres et d’esprit:|Had you of wit or letters the least jot:
Mais d’esprit, ô le plus lamentable des êtres,|But, O most lamentable man!—of wit
Vous n’en eûtes jamais un atome, et de lettres|You never had an atom, and of letters
Vous n’avez que les trois qui forment le mot: sot!|You have three letters only!—they spell Ass!
Eussiez-vous eu, d’ailleurs, l’invention qu’il faut|And—had you had the necessary wit,
Pour pouvoir là, devant ces nobles galeries,|To serve me all the pleasantries I quote
Me servir toutes ces folles plaisanteries,|Before this noble audience... e’en so,
Que vous n’en eussiez pas articulé le quart|You would not have been let to utter one—
De la moitié du commencement d’une, car|Nay, not the half or quarter of such jest!
Je me les sers moi-même, avec assez de verve,|I take them from myself all in good part,
Mais je ne permets pas qu’un autre me les serve.|But not from any other man that breathes!
Ιδού και η μη έμμετρη (αλλά πληρέστερη) μετάφραση του Lowell Blair:
Στη γαλλική ταινία του 1990 ο μονόλογος του Ζεράρ Ντεπαρντιέ δεν απέχει πολύ από το πρωτότυπο κείμενο του Ροστάν (παραλείπει απλώς δύο-τρεις περιπτώσεις):
Εδώ και ο Χοσέ Φερέρ στον κλασικό αμερικάνικο Cyrano de Bergerac του 1950 (προσθέτω υποτίτλους):
Και βέβαια ο εκπληκτικός Στιβ Μάρτιν από τη Ρωξάνη:
Πρώτα, ο μονόλογος στο πρωτότυπο του Ροστάν και σε έμμετρη μετάφραση:
Ah! non! c’est un peu court, jeune homme!|Ah no! young blade! That was a trifle short!
On pouvait dire... Oh! Dieu!... bien des choses en somme... |You might have said at least a hundred things
En variant le ton,—par exemple, tenez:|By varying the tone... like this, suppose,...
Agressif: “Moi, monsieur, si j’avais un tel nez|Aggressive: ‘Sir, if I had such a nose
Il faudrait sur-le-champ que je me l’amputasse!”|I’d amputate it!’ Friendly: ‘When you sup,
Amical: “Mais il doit tremper dans votre tasse!|it must annoy you, dipping in your cup;
Pour boire, faites-vous fabriquer un hanap!”|You need a drinking-bowl of special shape!’
Descriptif: “C’est un roc!... c’est un pic!... c’est un cap!|Descriptive: ‘'Tis a rock!... a peak!... a cape!
Que dis-je, c’est un cap?... C’est une péninsule!”|—A cape, forsooth! ‘Tis a peninsular!’
Curieux: “De quoi sert cette oblongue capsule?|Curious: ‘How serves that oblong capsular?
D’écritoire, monsieur, ou de boîte à ciseaux?”|For scissor-sheath? Or pot to hold your ink?’
Gracieux: “Aimez-vous à ce point les oiseaux|Gracious: ‘You love the little birds, I think?
Que paternellement vous vous préoccupâtes|I see you’ve managed with a fond research
De tendre ce perchoir à leur petites pattes?”|To find their tiny claws a roomy perch!’
Truculent: “Ça, monsieur, lorsque vous pétunez,|Truculent: ‘When you smoke your pipe... suppose
La vapeur du tabac vous sort-elle du nez|That the tobacco-smoke spouts from your nose—
Sans qu’un voisin ne crie au feu de cheminée?”|Do not the neighbors, as the fumes rise higher,
|Cry terror-struck: “The chimney is afire”?’
Prévenant: “Gardez-vous, votre tête entraînée|Considerate: ‘Take care,... your head bowed low
Par ce poids, de tomber en avant sur le sol!”|By such a weight... lest head o’er heels you go!’
Tendre: “Faites-lui faire un petit parasol|Tender: ‘Pray get a small umbrella made,
De peur que sa couleur au soleil ne se fane!”|Lest its bright color in the sun should fade!’
Pédant: “L’animal seul, monsieur, qu’Aristophane|Pedantic: ‘That beast Aristophanes
Appelle Hippocampelephantocamélos|Names Hippocamelelephantoles
Dut avoir sous le front tant de chair sur tant d’os!”|Must have possessed just such a solid lump
|Of flesh and bone, beneath his forehead’s bump!’
Cavalier: ‘Quoi, l’ami, ce croc est à la mode?|Cavalier: ‘The last fashion, friend, that hook?
Pour pendre son chapeau, c’est vraiment très commode!’|To hang your hat on? ‘Tis a useful crook!’
Emphatique: “Aucun vent ne peut, nez magistral,|Emphatic: ‘No wind, O majestic nose,
T’enrhumer tout entier, excepté le mistral!”|Can give THEE cold!—save when the mistral blows!’
Dramatique: “C’est la Mer Rouge quand il saigne!”|Dramatic: ‘When it bleeds, what a Red Sea!’
Admiratif: “Pour un parfumeur, quelle enseigne!”|Admiring: ‘Sign for a perfumery!’
Lyrique: “Est-ce une conque, êtes-vous un triton?”|Lyric: ‘Is this a conch?... a Triton you?’
Naïf: “Ce monument, quand le visite-t-on?”|Simple: ‘When is the monument on view?’
Respectueux: “Souffrez, monsieur, qu’on vous salue,|
C’est là ce qui s’appelle avoir pignon sur rue!”|
Campagnard: “Hé, ardé! C’est-y un nez? Nanain!|Rustic: ‘That thing a nose? Marry-come-up!
C’est queuqu’navet géant ou ben queuqu’melon nain!”|'Tis a dwarf pumpkin, or a prize turnip!’
Militaire: “Pointez contre cavalerie!”|Military: ‘Point against cavalry!’
Pratique: “Voulez-vous le mettre en loterie?|Practical: ‘Put it in a lottery!
Assurément, monsieur, ce sera le gros lot!”|Assuredly 'twould be the biggest prize!’
Enfin, parodiant Pyrame en un sanglot:|Or... parodying Pyramus’ sighs...
“Le voilà donc ce nez qui des traits de son maître|‘Behold the nose that mars the harmony
A détruit l’harmonie! Il en rougit, le traître!”|Of its master’s phiz! blushing its treachery!’
—Voilà ce qu’à peu près, mon cher, vous m’auriez dit|—Such, my dear sir, is what you might have said,
Si vous aviez un peu de lettres et d’esprit:|Had you of wit or letters the least jot:
Mais d’esprit, ô le plus lamentable des êtres,|But, O most lamentable man!—of wit
Vous n’en eûtes jamais un atome, et de lettres|You never had an atom, and of letters
Vous n’avez que les trois qui forment le mot: sot!|You have three letters only!—they spell Ass!
Eussiez-vous eu, d’ailleurs, l’invention qu’il faut|And—had you had the necessary wit,
Pour pouvoir là, devant ces nobles galeries,|To serve me all the pleasantries I quote
Me servir toutes ces folles plaisanteries,|Before this noble audience... e’en so,
Que vous n’en eussiez pas articulé le quart|You would not have been let to utter one—
De la moitié du commencement d’une, car|Nay, not the half or quarter of such jest!
Je me les sers moi-même, avec assez de verve,|I take them from myself all in good part,
Mais je ne permets pas qu’un autre me les serve.|But not from any other man that breathes!
Ιδού και η μη έμμετρη (αλλά πληρέστερη) μετάφραση του Lowell Blair:
I'm afraid your speech was a little short, young man. You could have said . . . oh, all sorts of things, varying your tone to fit your words. Let me give you a few examples.
In an aggressive tone: “If I had a nose like that, I'd have it amputated!”
Friendly: “The end of it must get wet when you drink from a cup. Why don't you use a tankard?”
Descriptive: “It's a rock, a peak, a cape! No, more than a cape: a peninsula!”
Curious: “What do you use that long container for? Do you keep your pens and scissors in it?”
Gracious: “What a kind man you are! You love birds so much that you've given them a perch to roost on.”
Truculent: “When you light your pipe and the smoke comes out your nose, the neighbors must think a chimney has caught fire!”
Solicitous: “Be careful when you walk: with all that weight on your head, you could easily lose your balance and fall.”
Thoughtful: “You ought to put an awning over it, to keep its color from fading in the sun.”
Pedantic: “Sir, only the animal that Aristophanes calls the hippocampelephantocamelos could have had so much flesh and bone below its forehead.”
Flippant: “That tusk must be convenient to hang your hat on.”
Grandiloquent: “No wind but the mighty Arctic blast, majestic nose, could ever give you a cold from one end to the other!”
Dramatic: “When it bleeds, it must be like the Red Sea!”
Admiring: “What a sign for a perfume shop!”
Lyrical: “Is that a conch, and are you Triton risen from the sea?”
Naive: “Is that monument open to the public?”
Respectful: “One look at your face, sir, is enough to tell me that you are indeed a man of substance.”
Rustic: “That don't look like no nose to me. It's either a big cucumber or a little watermelon.”
Military: “The enemy is charging! Aim your cannon!”
Practical: “A nose like that has one advantage: it keeps your feet dry in the rain.”
Or finally, parodying the grief-stricken Pyramus in Théophile de Viau's play: “This nose destroyed the harmony of its good master's features! See how the traitor
blushes now for shame!”
There, now you have an inkling of what you might have said to me if you were witty and a man of letters. Unfortunately you're totally witless and a man of very few letters: only the four that spell the word “fool.” But even if you had the intelligence to invent remarks like those I've given you as examples, you would not have been able to entertain me with them. You would have spoken no more than half the first syllable of the first word, because such jesting is a privilege that I grant only to myself.
In an aggressive tone: “If I had a nose like that, I'd have it amputated!”
Friendly: “The end of it must get wet when you drink from a cup. Why don't you use a tankard?”
Descriptive: “It's a rock, a peak, a cape! No, more than a cape: a peninsula!”
Curious: “What do you use that long container for? Do you keep your pens and scissors in it?”
Gracious: “What a kind man you are! You love birds so much that you've given them a perch to roost on.”
Truculent: “When you light your pipe and the smoke comes out your nose, the neighbors must think a chimney has caught fire!”
Solicitous: “Be careful when you walk: with all that weight on your head, you could easily lose your balance and fall.”
Thoughtful: “You ought to put an awning over it, to keep its color from fading in the sun.”
Pedantic: “Sir, only the animal that Aristophanes calls the hippocampelephantocamelos could have had so much flesh and bone below its forehead.”
Flippant: “That tusk must be convenient to hang your hat on.”
Grandiloquent: “No wind but the mighty Arctic blast, majestic nose, could ever give you a cold from one end to the other!”
Dramatic: “When it bleeds, it must be like the Red Sea!”
Admiring: “What a sign for a perfume shop!”
Lyrical: “Is that a conch, and are you Triton risen from the sea?”
Naive: “Is that monument open to the public?”
Respectful: “One look at your face, sir, is enough to tell me that you are indeed a man of substance.”
Rustic: “That don't look like no nose to me. It's either a big cucumber or a little watermelon.”
Military: “The enemy is charging! Aim your cannon!”
Practical: “A nose like that has one advantage: it keeps your feet dry in the rain.”
Or finally, parodying the grief-stricken Pyramus in Théophile de Viau's play: “This nose destroyed the harmony of its good master's features! See how the traitor
blushes now for shame!”
There, now you have an inkling of what you might have said to me if you were witty and a man of letters. Unfortunately you're totally witless and a man of very few letters: only the four that spell the word “fool.” But even if you had the intelligence to invent remarks like those I've given you as examples, you would not have been able to entertain me with them. You would have spoken no more than half the first syllable of the first word, because such jesting is a privilege that I grant only to myself.
Στη γαλλική ταινία του 1990 ο μονόλογος του Ζεράρ Ντεπαρντιέ δεν απέχει πολύ από το πρωτότυπο κείμενο του Ροστάν (παραλείπει απλώς δύο-τρεις περιπτώσεις):
Εδώ και ο Χοσέ Φερέρ στον κλασικό αμερικάνικο Cyrano de Bergerac του 1950 (προσθέτω υποτίτλους):
Ah, no young sir, you're too simple.
Why, you might have said a great many things.
Why waste your opportunity?
For example, thus...
Aggressive— I, sir, if that great nose were mine, I would have it amputated on the spot.
Practical— How do you drink with such a nose. You must have had a cup made especially.
Descriptive— 'Tis a rock, a crag, a cape. A cape, say, rather, a peninsula.
Inquisitive— Uh, what is that receptacle, a razor case or a portfolio?
Kindly— Ah, do you love the little birds so much that when they come and sing to you, you give them this to perch on?
Cautious— Take care. A weight like that might make you top-heavy.
Eloquent— When it blows the typhoon howls and the clouds darken.
Dramatic— When it bleeds...the Red Sea.
Simple— Eh, when do they unveil the monument?
Military— Beware, a secret weapon!
Enterprising— What a sign for some perfumer!
Respectful— Uh sir, I recognize in you a man of parts, a man of... prominence.
Or, literary— Was this the nose that launched a thousand ships?
These, my dear sir, are things you might have said had you some tinge of letters or of wit to color your discourse.
Bit wit not so. You never had an atom.
And of letters, you need but three to write you down, a..s..s.
Ass.
Why, you might have said a great many things.
Why waste your opportunity?
For example, thus...
Aggressive— I, sir, if that great nose were mine, I would have it amputated on the spot.
Practical— How do you drink with such a nose. You must have had a cup made especially.
Descriptive— 'Tis a rock, a crag, a cape. A cape, say, rather, a peninsula.
Inquisitive— Uh, what is that receptacle, a razor case or a portfolio?
Kindly— Ah, do you love the little birds so much that when they come and sing to you, you give them this to perch on?
Cautious— Take care. A weight like that might make you top-heavy.
Eloquent— When it blows the typhoon howls and the clouds darken.
Dramatic— When it bleeds...the Red Sea.
Simple— Eh, when do they unveil the monument?
Military— Beware, a secret weapon!
Enterprising— What a sign for some perfumer!
Respectful— Uh sir, I recognize in you a man of parts, a man of... prominence.
Or, literary— Was this the nose that launched a thousand ships?
These, my dear sir, are things you might have said had you some tinge of letters or of wit to color your discourse.
Bit wit not so. You never had an atom.
And of letters, you need but three to write you down, a..s..s.
Ass.
Και βέβαια ο εκπληκτικός Στιβ Μάρτιν από τη Ρωξάνη:
All right, 20 something betters. Here goes. Start with obvious:
“Excuse me. Is that your nose, or did a bus park on your face?”
Meteorological: “Everybody take cover! She's going to blow!”
Fashionable: “You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger... like Wyoming.”
Personal. “Well, here we are, just the three of us.”
Punctual: “Delman, your nose was on time, but you were 15 minutes late.”
Envious: “Oh, I wish I were you. Gosh! To be able to smell your own ear!”
Naughty: “Pardon me, sir, some of the ladies have asked... if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away.”
Philosophical: “It's not the size of a nose that's important. It's what in it that matters.”
Humorous: “Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Sneeze, and it's good-bye Seattle.”
Commercial: “Hi. I'm Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for $39.95.”
Polite: “Would you mind not bobbing your head? The orchestra keeps changing tempo.”
Melodic. Everybody. He's got the whole world in his nose.
Sympathetic: “Oh, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?”
Complimentary: “You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on.”
Scientific: “Say, does that thing there influence the tides?”
Obscure: “Whoa. I'd hate to see the grindstone.” Think about it.
Inquiry: “When you stop and smell the flowers... are they afraid?”
French: “Sir, the pigs have refused to find any more truffles... until you leave!”
Pornographic: “Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once.” How many is that? — Fourteen, Chief!
Religious: “The Lord giveth... and He just kept on giving, didn't He?” — Fifteen!
Disgusting: “Say, who mows your nose hair?” — Sixteen!
Paranoid: “Keep that guy away from my cocaine!” — Seventeen!
Aromatic: “It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee… in Brazil.” — Eighteen!
Appreciative: “How original. Most people just have their teeth capped.” — Nineteen! — All right. — One more! You can do it, C.D. Come on. – All right.
Dirty: “Your name wouldn't be Dick, would it?”
— You smart ass son of a bitch!
— You flat-faced, flat-nosed, flat head.
“Excuse me. Is that your nose, or did a bus park on your face?”
Meteorological: “Everybody take cover! She's going to blow!”
Fashionable: “You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger... like Wyoming.”
Personal. “Well, here we are, just the three of us.”
Punctual: “Delman, your nose was on time, but you were 15 minutes late.”
Envious: “Oh, I wish I were you. Gosh! To be able to smell your own ear!”
Naughty: “Pardon me, sir, some of the ladies have asked... if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away.”
Philosophical: “It's not the size of a nose that's important. It's what in it that matters.”
Humorous: “Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Sneeze, and it's good-bye Seattle.”
Commercial: “Hi. I'm Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for $39.95.”
Polite: “Would you mind not bobbing your head? The orchestra keeps changing tempo.”
Melodic. Everybody. He's got the whole world in his nose.
Sympathetic: “Oh, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?”
Complimentary: “You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on.”
Scientific: “Say, does that thing there influence the tides?”
Obscure: “Whoa. I'd hate to see the grindstone.” Think about it.
Inquiry: “When you stop and smell the flowers... are they afraid?”
French: “Sir, the pigs have refused to find any more truffles... until you leave!”
Pornographic: “Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once.” How many is that? — Fourteen, Chief!
Religious: “The Lord giveth... and He just kept on giving, didn't He?” — Fifteen!
Disgusting: “Say, who mows your nose hair?” — Sixteen!
Paranoid: “Keep that guy away from my cocaine!” — Seventeen!
Aromatic: “It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee… in Brazil.” — Eighteen!
Appreciative: “How original. Most people just have their teeth capped.” — Nineteen! — All right. — One more! You can do it, C.D. Come on. – All right.
Dirty: “Your name wouldn't be Dick, would it?”
— You smart ass son of a bitch!
— You flat-faced, flat-nosed, flat head.