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Thread: Sentence 1

  1. #1
    Senior Member pontios's Avatar
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    Sentence 1

    Good morning.

    I would appreciate some help again, please.
    Which of the following versions gets the nod ?
    (I've entitled this "Sentence 1", as I'll be posting and querying other sentences in the future, from time to time).

    1. It was the first time since he had arrived in Brazil, that he felt (..this?/so?) positive.

    2. It was the first time since arriving in Brazil, that he felt (..this?/so?) positive.

    3. It was the first time since his arrival in Brazil, that he felt so positive.

    4. He felt positive for the first time, since arriving in Brazil.

    5. For the first time, since arriving in Brazil, he felt positive.

    Any other suggestions ? Should I add "this" or "so" to the sentence ?
    How's my punctuation, by the way ? I almost decided to leave out the comma in 1-4, above and to only use one comma, after "Brazil", for version 5.

  2. #2
    Senior Member pontios's Avatar
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    Maybe I should have provided the previous sentence ?
    He left Periklis' Tavern with a spring in his step and a renewed sense of purpose.

  3. #3
    Super Moderator Alexandra's Avatar
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    I like No. 5 best.
    Μένω Ευρώπη
    Keys of change

  4. #4
    Mod Almighty Palavra's Avatar
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    I also believe that the comma before "that" is redundant.
    The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that "my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge".
    -Isaak Asimov

  5. #5
    Senior Member Themis's Avatar
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    1. He left Periklis' Tavern with a spring in his step and a renewed sense of purpose. He had never felt so positive since his arrival in Brazil.
    2. He left Periklis' Tavern with a spring in his step and a renewed sense of purpose. He felt positive, for the first time since his arrival in Brazil.

    I would not consider these two versions as identical.

  6. #6
    Senior Member bernardina's Avatar
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    I d' go for Themis's first suggestion. And the second one from your list, but without the comma, as Pal said.
    Ζωή σου είναι ό,τι έδωσες
    τούτο το κενό είναι ό,τι έδωσες
    το άσπρο χαρτί.

    Γ.Σ.

  7. #7
    Senior Member pontios's Avatar
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    Thank you one and all for your prompt assistance and Themi for coming up with another version of the sentence !

    It is also interesting to compare the following two versions -

    a. He felt positive, for the first time since his arrival in Brazil ... Themis' rendition.
    b. He felt positive for the first time, since his arrival in Brazil ... which was the direction I was taking it.

    "b" has a very different feel - but is my version "b" a valid way of stating the sentence ; or, should it only be stated as in version
    "a" ?

    Also, can version "b" be stated without the comma, or indeed should it be stated without the comma, and, if it can, does it alter the sense once again ?

  8. #8
    Administrator nickel's Avatar
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    Re #7, there are only to way to punctuate this:
    He felt positive for the first time since his arrival in Brazil. (This is the normal way.)
    He felt positive, for the first time since his arrival in Brazil. (Which contains this little pause that Themis has added, as if what follows were an afterthought. Not really necessary here, but still valid punctuation-wise.)

    He felt positive for the first time, since his arrival in Brazil. (The comma position is just wrong. "for the first time since" must be kept together.)
    Μένω ΕυρώπηΣύγκρουση ιδεών, όχι βία και μισαλλοδοξία: δεν οδηγούν πουθενά. (Λ. Κύρκος)Αριστεία, ρε!
    ΕΝΑ ΝΗΜΑ ΤΗΝ ΗΜΕΡΑ ΤΗΝ ΑΝΙΑ ΚΑΝΕΙ ΠΕΡΑ. Staying hungry, staying foolish. Το διαδίκτυο βλάπτει όταν δεν σκέφτεσαι.

  9. #9
    Senior Member pontios's Avatar
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    Okay, got it !
    Thanks nickel.

  10. #10
    Administrator nickel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pontios View Post
    Thanks nickel.
    There's one case where I like my comma, i.e. Thanks, nickel.
    Μένω ΕυρώπηΣύγκρουση ιδεών, όχι βία και μισαλλοδοξία: δεν οδηγούν πουθενά. (Λ. Κύρκος)Αριστεία, ρε!
    ΕΝΑ ΝΗΜΑ ΤΗΝ ΗΜΕΡΑ ΤΗΝ ΑΝΙΑ ΚΑΝΕΙ ΠΕΡΑ. Staying hungry, staying foolish. Το διαδίκτυο βλάπτει όταν δεν σκέφτεσαι.

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