if you gave Falwell an enema, you could bury him in a matchbox

Falwell was a tele-evangelist and this was said of him after his death by the late atheist wit and brilliant essayist, Christopher Hitchens. Could any of my friends out there translate this into fluent Greek, please?

My attempt:
Αν έκανες στον Φάλγουελ κλύσμα, θα μπορούσες να τον θάψεις μέσα σε σπιρτόκουτο.

Alexandra said: My attempt: Αν έκανες στον Φάλγουελ κλύσμα, θα μπορούσες να τον θάψεις μέσα σε σπιρτόκουτο.

Click to expand...

Thanks for that! It is pithy and concisely rendered!

Thanks, Theseus, although I admit I still haven't caught the meaning of this witticism.

It's a fancy way of saying that Falwell is full of shit.
I'm afraid it would be hard to understand in English, but in Greek, it makes even less sense to me.
Especially since we don't have an expression like the one in italics above.

Because he is a teleevangelist who is full of rubbish/shit, if you get rid of the rubbish there is so little left that the rest could fit into a matchbox sized coffin.
It is a cruel comment but one that is characteristic of a typical genre of British wit: this does not mitigate the force of the comment but puts it into its literary context. Compare Churchill's comment to Bessie Braddock:-
Braddock: "Winston, you are drunk, and what's more you are disgustingly drunk."
Churchill: "Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what's more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly."

Theseus, there are some more "insults with class" over there.
Btw, the Churchill quote above I've also heard as a contemporary Greek joke, one of the «drunkard series», where the drunkard catches a late night bus to go home and sits opposite an awfully ugly woman. But it's a joke more appropriate for performance than writing.

Αν έκανες στον Φάλγουελ κλύσμα, θα έμενε μόνο η σακούλα (referring to σκατοσακούλα).

...
Αν έκανες στον Φάλγουελ κλύσμα, θα πλημμύριζε ο τόπος. (a four++ flusher)

Αν έκανες στον Φάλγουελ κλύσμα, θα 'μενε μόνο το τομάρι του.


The Illinois Enema Bandit (Michael Kenyon) - Frank Zappa

Θα παίξω λίγο με τη μετάφραση επειδή έχω λίγο χρόνο, όχι για να αποδώσω επακριβώς το νόημα.

1) Αν έκανες στον Φάλγουελ κλύσμα, θα εξαφανιζόταν.

2) Αν έκανες στον Φάλγουελ κλύσμα, κάλλιστα θα κόπριζες τον λαχανόκηπό σου.

3) Αν έκανες στον Φάλγουελ κλύσμα, θα μπορούσες να τον θάψεις μέσα σε γιο-γιο.

4) Αν έκανες στον Φάλγουελ κλύσμα, θα γέμιζε ο βόθρος.

5) Αν έκανες στον Φάλγουελ κλύσμα, οι βοθρατζήδες θα είχαν δουλειά για όλη τους τη ζωή.

6) Και για να παίξω και στα αγγλικά: If you gave Fallwell an enema, all you would have left would be his anima.