# Holy cow! Ή τι αλίευσα στο φατσαμπούκι.



## bernardina (Mar 23, 2013)

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...

Bo*v*us track

Μooooo cow!


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## Hellegennes (Mar 23, 2013)

Ωραίο. :):clap:



bernardina said:


> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You sell one, and force the other to
> produce the milk of four cows.
> ...



Τι έχουν τα έρμα και ψοφάνε...


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## dharvatis (Mar 23, 2013)

Και η εκδίκηση:


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## Themis (Mar 24, 2013)

dharvatis, η παρέμβασή σου μου θυμίζει την κάθαρση των αρχαίων τραγωδιών και του Πέκινπα. Έξοχο!
Κατά τα άλλα, πολύ εμπνευσμένα τα μπερνοτσιταριζόμενα. Αλλά με εκνευρίζει η ιστορική ανακρίβεια: ο ναζισμός δεν μεγάλωσε τον κρατικό τομέα αλλά τον ιδιωτικό. Δεν έκανε κρατικοποιήσεις αλλά ιδιωτικοποιήσεις. Άλλο η ψυχροπολεμική προπαγάνδα και άλλο η πραγματικότητα.


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## bernardina (Jun 21, 2014)

Λοιπόν, κάποιες ιστορίες είναι πιο παλιές απ' όσο φανταζόμαστε.

Έτσι, εδώ βλέπουμε ότι ο οικιακός ίππος άσκησης (κάτι σαν πρόδρομος του στατικού ποδηλάτου; ), κάνει καλό στο συκώτι, την παχυσαρκία, την υστερία (!), την ποδάγρα και άλλα πολλά. 







Το μόνο κακό μ' αυτά τα στατικά πράματα είναι πως όσο κι αν κοπιάζεις δεν πας πουθενά. :cheek:


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## drsiebenmal (Jun 21, 2014)

Για την «καταπολέμηση της υστερίας» το αλογάκι ιππευόταν αλλιώς, πάντως...


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## SBE (Jun 21, 2014)

Η συσκευή είχε επιτυχία και στα δύο φύλα, και βλέπω λέει ότι brightens the brain (ξελαμπικάρει; ) και θεραπεύει τη δυσπεψία. 


Βλέπω επίσης στο ιντερνέτιο ότι η συσκευή είναι ακόμα εδώ, κι ακόμα υπόσχεται πολλά:


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## nickel (Jun 21, 2014)

drsiebenmal said:


> Για την «καταπολέμηση της υστερίας» το αλογάκι ιππευόταν αλλιώς, πάντως...



Να δείτε την ταινία _Hysteria_, να μορφωθείτε. 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1435513/combined
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hysteria_(2011_film)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vibrator_(sex_toy)


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## daeman (Jun 21, 2014)

...
SURREALISM
You have a giraffe.
The government requires you to spice it up.







POINTILLISM
You have some long necked cows.
The government requires you to giraffe them up.








bernardina said:


> ...
> A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
> You have two cows giraffes.
> The one on the left looks very attractive...
> ...














giraffics


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## daeman (Jun 21, 2014)

...
i-GROOVISM[SUP]® [/SUP]by Apple™
You have a cow.
The company requires you to groove it up, without revealing to other cows what the groove is, so you invent the iChow[SUP]©[/SUP].







SPANISHISM
You have a bull. 
Tradition requires you to fight it, but this bull ain't gonna take no bull from ya.







Ay gotcha, hijo de puta! Bull's I.


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## daeman (Jun 22, 2014)

bernardina said:


> A BRITISH CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> Both are mad.








So, we'll go no more a golfing
 So late into the night,
Though the cow be still as loving,
 And the moon be still as bright.







Ah, the Continent, vive la France, la vache qui rit...
Barmy, blimey!


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## drsiebenmal (Jul 17, 2016)

Αλιευμένο και κλεμμένο από το ΦΒ:

Ρεφεναίρ Κοντίσιον:


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