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Thread: Άλκης Παλαμάς του Λορέντζου Μαβίλη

  1. #21
    Senior Member Theseus's Avatar
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    And mine:-

    And the sea that raged, like boiling broth,
    Fell silent, all silent, one glassy purity,
    And, like a perfumed garden, took all the stars to her breast.

    I know that your 'welcomed in' is an accurate translation but 'welcomed in all the stars' reads awkwardly in English. I like the overtones of Romanticism in Romilly Jenkins translation 'takes all the stars to her breast'.

  2. #22
    Senior Member pontios's Avatar
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    You've turned prose into poetry. Well done, Theseus.

    https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/welcome+in

    Maybe "welcome in" the stars does sound odd compared to "welcome the stars in"?
    On the other hand, "welcome in" the New Year sounds fine (and gets more hits than welcome "the New Year in")?

    You can say the Smiths were "welcomed in" by the Franklins (into their home, let's say), can't you .. so didn't the Franklins "welcome in" the Smiths?

    I think it bears further discussion ... σηκώνει κάμποση συζήτηση.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Theseus's Avatar
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    Thanks, Pontios. 'Welcome in' is perfectly correct but I felt that 'welcomed in all the stars', if you read it out aloud, sounds a little awkward & doesn't run smoothly, because at first you don't know what to take the preposition with . 'Welcomed all the stars in', as you said is less common but more instantly intelligible. BTW, 'welcome the New Year in' or 'welcome in the New Year' are set phrases, only, I think, used in the context of the New Year.
    I think the problem is that initially you think it is 'welcomed|in all the stars' & not 'welcomed in|all the stars. It is thus a question of smoothness. Our attempts, however, have been well worthwhile, if only to highlight the difficulties of translation.

  4. #24
    Senior Member SBE's Avatar
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    This discussion reminded me of this, Το στερνό παραμύθι, which I mistakenly remembered from school as a work by Mavilis (because it's a sonnet). Mavilis wrote Λήθη (which I also remember from school).

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