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Thread: How does this sentence sound to you ?

  1. #11
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    I couldn't resist chiming in (especially since I taught Nickel many years ago and have been an editor most of my life). I'd adopt his gerund and idiom, and eliminate commas as follows:
    He decided, then and there, that his best chance of providing for his family during the Occupation was to stick to merchandising.

  2. #12
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    Delighted to have you chiming in Jacquelineditor but may I ask what "his gerund and idiom" refers to? It's got me slightly stumped.

  3. #13
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    I got it! No need to reply Jacqueline.

  4. #14
    Senior Member pontios's Avatar
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    Thank you all and I need to watch my extra commas !

    One thing still bothers me (regardless of which version of the sentence is chosen) ; we can safely say that :
    Merchandising offered him the most effective means, i.e., the best way of providing for his family ; but can merchandising ( as in the activity, itself) ever be considered a chance or the best chance (of providing for his family) ?
    His best chance maybe was via merchandising, but can his best chance be merchandising ?
    Is everyone following me ?
    I still see a flaw for some reason, within the original sentence itself as it's somehow equating chance with merchandising . I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself adequately.
    I deliberately left out the word/verb "continue",above, to simplify things, and in order to help me illustrate my point.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Philip's Avatar
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    "chance" works ok, in a loose kind of way - if it were spoken language, very few people would even give it a second thought. It strikes me as more informal (rather than logically flawed) and to be dispreferred for that reason..
    Από μικρόθεν μου έλεγε ο γέρων ο παππούς μου
    παιδίν μου μάθε γράμματα και ωσάν εσέναν έχει

  6. #16
    Administrator nickel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jacquelineditor View Post
    ...especially since I taught Nickel many years ago ...
    People may now start talking about the monster you have created...
    Καλημέρα.
    Μένω ΕυρώπηΣύγκρουση ιδεών, όχι βία και μισαλλοδοξία: δεν οδηγούν πουθενά. (Λ. Κύρκος)Αριστεία, ρε!
    ΕΝΑ ΝΗΜΑ ΤΗΝ ΗΜΕΡΑ ΤΗΝ ΑΝΙΑ ΚΑΝΕΙ ΠΕΡΑ. Staying hungry, staying foolish. Το διαδίκτυο βλάπτει όταν δεν σκέφτεσαι.

  7. #17
    Senior Member pontios's Avatar
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    Thanks again Philip.

    How does this sound ?

    He decided, there and then, that the most effective way of providing for his family during the Occupation remained merchandising.

    or ?

    He decided, there and then, that merchandising remained the most effective way of providing for his family during the Occupation.

  8. #18
    Administrator nickel's Avatar
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    Definitely the second one.
    Μένω ΕυρώπηΣύγκρουση ιδεών, όχι βία και μισαλλοδοξία: δεν οδηγούν πουθενά. (Λ. Κύρκος)Αριστεία, ρε!
    ΕΝΑ ΝΗΜΑ ΤΗΝ ΗΜΕΡΑ ΤΗΝ ΑΝΙΑ ΚΑΝΕΙ ΠΕΡΑ. Staying hungry, staying foolish. Το διαδίκτυο βλάπτει όταν δεν σκέφτεσαι.

  9. #19
    Senior Member pontios's Avatar
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    Thank you nickel.

    Here's one way, perhaps, to incorporate "chance" into the sentence (whilst adopting your gerund and idiom ) :

    He decided, then and there, to stick to his merchandising ; he saw it as (still?) offering(or he saw that it offered/he could see that it offered/having determined, after determining that it still offered ?) the best chance to provide for his family during the Occupation.

    Que pensez-vous?

  10. #20
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    Any chance of providing the original sentence in Greek?

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