Is this opening sentence too long ?

pontios

Well-known member
Καλήμερα και καλό Σαββατοκύριακο.

I could use your knowledgeable opinions.
Μήπως αυτή η πρόταση είναι μακρύτερη από όσο πρέπει ;
Η πρόταση αυτή είναι η πρώτη (εισαγωγική δηλαδή or opening sentence) ενός βιβλίου.
Any suggestions that would render it less wordy or clumsy ?

The cold northerly wind howled and water dripped rhythmically
from the icicles that had formed around the eaves of the
hut that accommodated a group of Greek soldiers, who
were stationed there to guard a section of the Greek/Albanian
border, over the entire winter period.
 

SBE

¥
Αν θες κάντο έτσι:
The cold northerly wind howled. Water dripped rhythmically from the icicles that had formed around the eaves of the hut that accommodated a group of Greek soldiers, who were stationed there to guard a section of the Greek/Albanian border, over the entire winter period.

Αλλά, αν ο αέρας φυσάει μανιασμένος και παγωμένος, οι σταλακτίτες δεν λιώνουν.
 

pontios

Well-known member
Thanks SBE
So you see a need to break down the sentence.

Αλλά, αν ο αέρας φυσάει μανιασμένος και παγωμένος, οι σταλακτίτες δεν λιώνουν.
Το σκέφτηκα αυτό, και ίσως θα πρέπει να πείσω τον θείο μου τον συγγραφέα, να αναθεωρήσει τη λογική του.
 
I don't think the sentence is too long, but it could be improved by removing the double "...that...that..." - and of course by taking into account SBE's accurate point :-)
 

pontios

Well-known member
I don't think the sentence is too long, but it could be improved by removing the double "...that...that..." - and of course by taking into account SBE's accurate point :-)

Thanks for your input. I'm thinking an opening sentence should be deliberately long and expansive to draw in the reader.

I'm doing the Greek/English translation as a favour (to my uncle) and so I'm trying to get through it as quickly and painlessly as possible, with minimal redrafts and by only allocating about an hour for each page.
It's an interesting little thriller/adventure story that (I feel) is unfortunately written in stop/start fashion in Greek using short sentence structures and so it lacks the necessary flow of a well written novel (my uncle is a good narrator/story teller but only an okay writer).
I'm thinking (and suggested to him) that a good ghost writer, if interested, could possibly breathe some life into it and so I'm basically treating what I'm doing as only a scenario/first draft, and allowing myself some laxity, although my uncle probably sees it differently.
 

SBE

¥
Stop/start with short sentences is a perfectly acceptable style in modern English literature, too. Don't change it.
 

pontios

Well-known member
I've revised my opening sentence and thank you both for your help.
I've nearly completed the book now.
Here's the first couple of pages from the first chapter, which includes the pivotal event
that sets up the story (I thought you might be interested).
Don't be too critical, as I said I'm treating the book as if it's a first draft.


Guarding the Albanian Border

The howling northerly wind continued to sculpt the icicles
hanging from the eaves of the billet hut, that accommodated
a group of Greek soldiers guarding a section of the Greek/Albanian
border, over the winter period.
Outside, a generous layer of snow blanketed the ground and
the leafless branches of the trees.
Inside, a team of four soldiers sat around the wood heater
and savoured its warmth, as they waited for the scheduled
return of the patrol team of four, whom they were to replace,
At two in the afternoon the returning soldiers entered the hut,
momentarily rubbed their hands, then laid down their rifles,
and removed their heavy capes, before sitting down for their customary
card game. Each soldier emptied the few coins they had in their
pockets directly in front of where they sat and the game started.
This was their daily ritual and there were many quarrels and fights
that resulted from it. The soldiers often came to blows and
were repeatedly summoned to report back to their unit for disciplinary
reasons. They had been drafted at the same time and couldn't
wait for their compulsory service period to be completed.
On this fateful day, a card was found on the floor, which made
everyone suspect that someone at the table was cheating.
Yiannos Mavrou got up enraged, grabbed his bayoneted rifle
and plunged it deep into the chest of Giorgios Stavrou, who
cried out once and then fell backwards with his
chair onto the floor.
The soldiers turned and glared at the murderer, who gazed in
horror at the lifeless body and then at his blood stained bayonet.
Even though he was an unruly and wild young man, who had
experienced many sticky situations, this was the first time he had
felt so scared. Grabbing his cape, and still holding his rifle,
he dashed out of the building and made a quick
southerly descent into the pine forest, as he knew the army
had no outposts there. The date of this fateful day had just
managed to etch its way into his hazy memory, it was the
25th October, 1940. He was already starting to fatigue, shortly
after his escape, so stopped for a breather and to recheck
the direction he was heading. He threw his cape around his
shoulders and soon broke into a sweat, from its considerable
weight and thickness.
He was prepared for whatever lay ahead, determined
not to turn himself in to the authorities and to never confess
to the crime. His determination grew, the further he distanced
himself from the crime scene, and the irony was that, unbeknownst
to him, the person he killed was completely innocent. Anyway, the
damage had been done and could never be rectified.
The tortuous path that Yiannos chose, through the rugged
mountains of Epirus and under the harsh, bitterly cold conditions,
was proving unbearable.
When nightfall arrived, he was forced to sit down and rest, wrapped
up in his cape. His feet soon felt frozen inside his boots and his
thoughts wandered back to the card game and his latest idiotic feat.
"The cheat, how dare he !", he snarled.
 

nickel

Administrator
Staff member
Hi. This does sound interesting. We may well be asking for more pretty soon...

Just a few comments from me: I'm (still) unhappy with the first sentence, but not yet ready to say how I'd have written it. There are a few other sentences that make me equally unhappy with their balance. For example, “Inside, a team of four soldiers sat around the wood heater and savoured its warmth, as they waited for the scheduled return of the patrol team of four, whom they were to replace” could become a much shorter “Inside, four soldiers sat around the wood heater and enjoyed its warmth, waiting for the patrol team to replace them.”

In the sentence “Even though he was an unruly and wild young man, who had experienced many sticky situations, this was the first time he had felt so scared” I find some sort of irritating understatement, while I'm still trying to find a name for what I don't like in “The date of this fateful day had just managed to etch its way into his hazy memory, it was the 25th October, 1940.”

The key sentence “On this fateful day, a card was found on the floor, which made everyone suspect that someone at the table was cheating. Yiannos Mavrou got up enraged, grabbed his bayoneted rifle and plunged it deep into the chest of Giorgios Stavrou, who cried out once and then fell backwards with his chair onto the floor”, apart from the first change that came to mind (“got up in a fit of rage”), may need some reworking, if only because it is such an important sentence. It caught me totally unawares, and I don't know whether that's a good or a bad thing. :-D

Of minor importance, but since I felt like jotting them down:
blood-stained (I'm a hyphen Nazi)
so he stopped for a breather: it's better to repeat the subject
and to recheck the direction he was heading in: too colloquial without the preposition
determined not to turn himself in to the authorities and to never confess to the crime > determined not to turn himself in to the authorities and never to confess to the crime: for balance and consistency, if not to avoid splitting the infinitive :-D
the person he had killed
"The cheat, how dared he!" (I think)

More in the near future...
 

pontios

Well-known member
Thanks nickel, for taking an interest.
You've made some good comments and you're right, it'll need reworking in the areas you've pointed out.
That key sentence also catches you somewhat unaware in my uncle's book ...
"Εκείνη την ημέρα δεν άργησε να γίνει το κακό όταν βρέθηκε ένα τραπουλόχαρτο στο πάτωμα, γιατί νόμισαν πως κάποιος από την παρέα τους κλέβει. Σηκώθηκε τότε νευριασμένος ο Γιάννος Μαύρου άρπαξε το όπλο του με την ξιφολόγχη και την κάρφωσε με δύναμη στο στήθος του Γιώργου Σταύρου !" .. (but maybe less so), as a hint is given that something bad is about to happen with "δεν άργησε να γίνει το κακό", so I definitely do need to rethink this key line (or rather the one before). I thought by adding "fateful day ", instead, I was similarly preparing the reader, that something bad was about to take place.
I feel somewhat confined by what I've been given to translate and I don't want to veer too far from the book.
Here are a couple of other sentences, that you referred to.
"Παγωνιά, το χιόνι ήταν αρκετά στρωμένο στο έδαφος και στα γυμνά δέντρα." I added "outside" to it (I took the small executive decision here), for effect.
"Μόλις που άρχισε να ριζώνει στην θολωμένη τώρα μνήμη του, αυτή η σημαδιακή ήμερα του φονικού, 25η Οκτωβρίου 1940".
I could have translated it literally as .. "The date of this fateful/significant/earth shattering :eek:mg: day had started to take root in his murky memory ..", etc.. I chose "started to etch its way into his hazy memory", but maybe I could have written "started to etch itself into his memory" or "entrench itself/infiltrate ? into his memory ? "
I've been clumsy in spots and can see the mistakes myself, as I skim through my translation.
It all takes time and if someone brought it to me already translated into English, even at the first draft stage, it would have helped me to take it to the next level. Anyway, I'm not a translator, so I'm not doing too bad a job. :eek:
 

pontios

Well-known member
.. or, should I have written .. I'm doing not too bad a job ? :scared: ;)

"Inside, four soldiers sat around the wood heater and enjoyed its warmth, waiting for the patrol team to replace them.” does read better, but the team inside are replacing the patrol, so it needs to be stated the other way around.
(The returning patrol team aren't going to replace the waiting soldiers inside, by doing a shift, sitting around the heater).

"Inside, four soldiers sat around the wood heater and enjoyed its warmth,/as they waited to replace the returning patrol/waiting to replace the returning patrol team ? "
It still sounds clumsy.
 

pontios

Well-known member
"Inside, four soldiers warmed themselves by the wood heater, as they waited to replace the returning patrol team." ?

Sorry for the multiple posts, but I had lunch in between.
Also, I mistakenly referred to a sentence, that you didn't in fact comment on nickel, and apologies for that - the one that started with "outside".
You've made me rethink things (and convinced me to do better).
 

pontios

Well-known member
Glad I've helped. I'll get back tomorrow, for more rewriting ideas.

Thanks nickel ..here's a few more pages, still at draft stage. Just go past "Guarding the Albanian border".
I'm not expecting any more help, by the way, just wanted to get your thoughts more than anything.

Guarding the Albanian Border

The howling northerly wind continued to sculpt the icicles hanging from the eaves of the billet hut, that accommodated a group of Greek soldiers guarding a section of the Greek/Albanian
border, over the winter period.
Outside, a generous layer of snow blanketed the ground and the leafless branches of the trees.
Inside, a team of four soldiers warmed themselves by the wood heater, as they waited to replace the returning patrol team.
At two in the afternoon the returning soldiers entered the hut, momentarily rubbed their hands, then laid down their rifles, and removed their heavy capes, before sitting down for their customary card game. Each soldier emptied the few coins they had in their pockets directly in front of where they sat and the game started.
This was their daily ritual and there were many quarrels and fights that resulted from it. The soldiers often came to blows and were repeatedly summoned to report back to their unit for disciplinary reasons. They had been drafted at the same time and couldn't wait for their compulsory service period to be completed.
One fateful day, a card was found on the floor, which made everyone suspect that someone at the table was cheating. Yiannos Mavrou got up in a fit of rage, grabbed his bayoneted rifle
and drove it into the chest of Giorgios Stavrou.Giorgios cried out once and then fell backwards with his chair onto the floor.
The soldiers turned and glared at the murderer, who gazed in horror at the lifeless body and then at his blood-stained bayonet. The unruly and wild young man, had never felt so scared. Grabbing his cape, and still holding his rifle, he dashed out of the building and made a quick southerly descent into the pine forest, as he knew the army had no outposts there.
The date of this fateful day had started to etch itself into his hazy mind, it was the 25th October, 1940.
His muscles soon began to cramp, so he stopped for a breather and to check the direction in which he was heading. He threw his cape around his
shoulders and soon broke into sweat from its considerable weight and thickness.
He was prepared for whatever lay ahead, determined not to turn himself in to the authorities and never to confess to the crime. His determination grew, the further he distanced
himself from the crime scene, and the irony was that, unbeknownst to him, the person he killed was completely innocent. Anyway, the damage had been done and could not be
rectified.
The tortuous path that Yiannos chose, through the rugged mountains of Epirus and under harsh, bitterly cold conditions, was proving unbearable. When nightfall arrived, he was forced to sit down and rest, wrapped up in his cape. His feet soon felt frozen inside his boots and his thoughts wandered back to the card game and his latest idiotic feat. "The cheat, how dare he !", he snarled.

Giorgios Stavrou's murder

The tragic incident happened so unexpectedly.
When the stunned soldiers gathered (/came to?) their senses, they immediately rushed to grab their rifles, in an attempt to block Yiannos' escape. One of the soldiers, Pavlos Yioses, reached the exit first and held his bayonet out (extended his bayonet ?), in a threatening manner.
"What are you guys thinking ? Have you gone crazy, too ? Don't you realize that he won't hesitate to kill again ? Let's all start thinking about what we need to do with our dead buddy(comrade?) here".
There were seven soldiers in the hut at the time, together with a higher ranked administrator, who started making a phone call. He cranked the phone generator five times, then lifted up the receiver and spoke ,"Yes, border outpost calling, this is the administrator speaking. Please get the Sergeant on the phone, something terrible has happened ! We have one dead here, please notify your superior immediately".
It seemed the news had barely reached the company, when the cavalry arrived at the hut. A doctor, two nurses, a captain and the sergeant, took the dead soldier in the stretcher and headed back to the company headquarters. The news of the tragedy was delivered, just as quickly, to the family of the dead soldier, who lived in the suburb of Saint Fotini, in Thessaloniki.. The military authorities sent a sergeant and a second lieutenant, to offer their sympathy to Georgios Stavrou's widow, Eleni, who was living at the time with her parents-in-law, whilst her husband was away serving.
Eleni waited anxiously for two years for her husband to be released from the army, and instead of this (/her husband ?) she got (/came?) grief instead. Her parents came to support and console her, but their efforts were in vain . She grieved daily, along with her parents-in-law (/alongside them?). The pain was unbearable.
The death extinguished (put and end to ?) the dreams of this young woman, who only managed (/got ?)to see her husband (the?) once, and even then it was for a few days, when Giorgios, got leave from the army. Their son Achilles was only two years old and could not comprehend the tragic blow his family had just been dealt, that left (rendered?) him an orphan.

Chapter Two
The war of 1940

On the Monday morning of the 28th October 1940, another unexpected blow was dealt to the Stavrou family, a more wide reaching one.
The disturbing news that Italy had declared war on Greece arrived like a terrible lightning bolt out of a blue sky and affected every Greek citizen.
Radio sets everywhere began to continually blare out (broadcast?) the insistent call for a general mobilisation (or maybe radios were broadcasting a recruitment drive message ??).
People were sent into a (crazed /) frenzy, whilst young men were keen to don their awaiting khaki uniforms and respond to the call to defend their motherland.
With all this unfolding in the background, Old Dimitri Stavrou, hitched his white horse to his wagon, in preparation for his ride to army hospital 424, accompanied by his wife Domna and his daughter in law Eleni. They went there to pick up the body of the dead soldier, after having spent a sleepless night together with Eleni's parents, other relatives and friends.
The funeral of the hapless soldier took place that very day, in the presence of the duty sergeant and sub-lieutenant. When the service was over,they returned to their home in Saint Fotini. Old Dimitri as he was widely known, now that he had started to advance in years, didn't expect anyone's help following the loss of his only son. He steeled himself instead and returned the very next day to work, even in his emotionally ravaged state.
He realised he needed to now, more than ever, care for the welfare of his grandson and the child's mother.
Winter approached and he set about his regular task, for this time of the year, of loading firewood and briquettes from a warehouse in Ano Toumbas, which he then started to deliver to homes, many of these deliveries were pre-ordered, as usual.
But things went differently this year with many of his clients cancelling their orders.
What they were asking for now was sacks of flour, including cornflour and whatever foodstuff that he could gather at the markets. Τhe demand was so high, from the very first day (the word go?) that Barba(meaning old man) Dimitri was forced to work all that day and into the next morning, when he finally returned exhausted with two sacks of flour for his family. People were panic buying and were storing away whatever foodstuff they could find on a daily basis.
Barba Dimitri therefore found himself returning home late every night.
In the front line Sofia Bembo ? was entertaining our advancing Greek troops, the vanguard stationed at North Ipeiro. The war had now started in earnest and continued for six months, up until the three armies of the enemy alliance (Italy, Germany and Bulgaria) invaded Greece.
Greece reluctantly signed its terms of surrender with Germany on the 20th April 1941 and with Italy three days later.
The Italian and German armies gained almost total control of mainland Greece and the Greek Islands, whilst Bulgaria controlled two parts of northern Greece, the eastern region of Macedonia and Thrace. Τhe barbaric invaders became Greece's new masters.
When the German army reached Thessaloniki, Barba Dimitri and his family took flight, loading whatever belongings they could fit on the wagon. Before leaving Barba Dimitri locked his house and the stable where he kept his horse.
He had already endured the First World War, fighting the Turks, serving as a sergeant in the Greek army. The bitterness and pain was evident in their expressions, as they set off that early morning, rugged up on the wagon.
Eleni held young Achilles whilst her mother in law Domna sat beside her.
During their voyage they underwent many routine checks (+conducted?) by German soldiers, and they finally started to breathe a little easier once they were a fair distance from Thessaloniki. They had already passed the Filippou tileworks. Around midday they passed through a village called Nea- Chalkidona which was en-route to their destination, the town of Florina. Upon exiting this village Barba Dimitri drew the reins and steered his horse to an uncultivated farmfield, whereupon/where ? he parked the wagon.
He gave his horse water, followed by some barley and corn, and let it rest and revive, while the Stavrou family finally got their chance to stretch and to walk off
the cramps and aches resulting from their bumpy and arduous journey.
It was the month of May and bright, warm sunshine beamed down from a bright blue sky, bathing the green spring fields below. They enjoyed nature in all its glory and were oblivious to the German occupation, which had begun just a few weeks earlier, at least for the moment,
Young Achilleas was running around his grandma, whilst Eleni was trying hard to give him his next spoonful of food.
Two hours later and amply rested, they resumed their journey. They passed through Pellas and reached Iannitsa that night, where they visited a friend of Barba Dimitris.
The friend welcomed them all and sympathised for the death of his friend's son, and they spent the night at his home.
In the morning they left revived and rested, thanks to their friend's hospitality. Their journey was interrupted along the way by numerous German checks
Two weeks later they finally arrived in Florina exhausted and listless from their taxing journey.
As soon as they arrived in Florina, Barba Dimitri went to the Prefecture offices seeking whatever help they can provide for his family. That very day, with its assistance, they were furnished an abandoned Jewish house.
It was a mansion located on the main road and opposite a public primary school. Barba Dimitri opened the enormous wooden gate that led into the courtyard and walked his horse and wagon into the huge backyard.
Everything was taken care of that night, a candle was now burning brightly in front of the religious icons that Domna had brought with her and Whitey, the name Barba Dimitri chose to call his horse, was chomping quietly away under the shelter, covered by a blanket.

German Occupation 1941

A swarm of German tanks suddenly rumbled their way through that quiet neighbourhood of Florina, their caterpillar tracks marking their presence on the asphalt road surface as they passed. Barba-Dimitri hurried to the footpath to see what was happening, behind him stood Domna and Eleni with her son Achilles. A multitude ? of German soldiers followed behind and were heading for the train station.
Their first night was peaceful. In the morning barba-Dimitri with his wife, seated next to him on the wagon, decided to visit their relatives who lived in the surrounding villages. Barba-Dimitri ignored the dangers posed by the frequent checks from German soldiers as well as(/and?) the guerrillas, but he nevertheless always made sure to be home by late afternoon.
The first village they went to was Poliplatano, to visit some relatives, who had lived there for many years, after being exiled from Ponto, during the Turkish persecution. The relatives at Poliplatano loaded barba-Dimitri's wagon with various food provisions, such as flour, oil, butter and pumpkins from their produce. In the afternoon they left for Meliti, where they had a very emotional catch up with relatives, whom they had not seen for many years, and hoped that in the future they would have the opportunity to see more often.
However they now had the occupation to contend with and no one knew when they will finally see the end of it.
Before the farewell, the relatives loaded more food provisions on barba-Dimitri's wagon.



***o***



The Merchant of Florina

Barba-Dimitri always avoided being out at night,fearing the Germans and so returned home with his wife before sunset that day.
Whilst unloading and storing away the provisions, kindly supplied by his relatives, he found himself making (hatching?) new plans. He decided that during the German occupation, his best chance of securing food for his family, was doing travelling sales ?, that is, procuring goods wholesale that he can then deliver and on-sell to the public.
He revealed his plans to his wife, and a few days later he caught a ride on a van heading to Thessaloniki. After enduring a number of German checkpoints, he finally arrived at Kalamaria, a suburb of Thessaloniki, where he bought a quantity of combs. The small manufacturer revealed to barba-Dimitri, that he was in short supply of bone, the basic raw material needed by his small factory to make them (the combs ?).
Barba-Dimitri consoled him, " Don't worry you will continue to produce your combs, there is a big demand for them! .I'll source and supply the bones(bone?) to you. I need quite a few combs just to meet the demands in Florina and its surrounding villages. There's a head lice epidemic plaguing most of the Greek populace as you know".
With a warm farewell and an encouraging handshake barba-Dimitri left the factory.
After a few hours of walking he arrived at Kamara, a suburb of Thessaloniki, where he found and bought two kilos of lotion and two kilos of sulphur, both used for treating lice. When he completed his little mission, he returned to his home in St Fotini to spend the night. Nightfall came before he realised it, and he was totally exhausted. He woke up early the next morning, made himself a cup of tea and when it looked bright enough outside, he walked to a limestone quarry, where he hoped to catch a ride on a departing truck that was heading to Florina. An acquaintance told him that a truck belonging to a mutual friend would be leaving the following morning, so barba-Dimitri had a traditional Greek soup (patsa) for supper and then spent the night in the truck's cabin. The friend woke him around sunrise when he hopped in and started the truck.
They travelled all day and were confronted with the usual German checks along the way until barba-Dimitri finally arrived at his home in Florina late afternoon, weary but satisfied by what he had achieved. His family gathered around him, as they had missed him and his grandson reached for a hug. Eleni brought him a glass of water and his wife Domna set the table for dinner.
”Things are really tough in the city, Domna", barba-Dimitri related to his wife, "There's no more food left in the stores in Thessaloniki. Besides (that ?), people don't have money to buy anything. They are trading away their rings, gold and jewellery for a loaf of bread. We did well to come here.
Then he turned to Eleni and said, "Eleni, patience my dear girl, I think we will get through this and we will see better days again soon. Other countries are rising against Germany and so I feel this war won't last too long, the end is nigh for the Germans and their spaghetti munching crony(/ally) ?".
Eleni nodded and said, "Let's hope that we're freed from this German occupation soon, but I fear my pain will never end. It's just me alone with my child now, if you are unable to look after us, for whatever reason, how would I cope? What will become of us?"
To which Domna replied, " God is great and merciful, my dear, never lose hope".
After supper, barba-Dimitri (kindly?) asked his wife to clear the table and then to cover the entire surface with newspaper. He then placed his merchandise on the newspaper and spread it around the table, whilst the two women watched him in bewilderment. Domna asked first, “What is all this Dimitri. What do you plan to do with all these combs and all these soaps?"
He just proudly smiled and said, “Don’t you know that poverty as well as fear is the mother of invention". "I therefore thought of doing some merchandising, by procuring goods that are in demand, so that we can somehow survive this and not starve.
Does this make any sense to you woman ?" emphasising the word "woman" with a chuckle, which prompted everyone, including young Achilleas to break out in laughter, allowing them to forget their plight, for one brief moment.
In the morning armed German soldiers woke the neighbourhood as they rode by on their heavily laden horses. They stopped to unload the horses when they reached some small shops a little further down the street. Barba-Dimitri found out later that morning, that the Germans had commandeered some small shops. A little later some more German soldiers arrived at the same spot, followed by a truck which arrived in the afternoon and proceeded to unload its cargo of ten calves. Later that afternoon a car arrived with German soldiers accompanied by four Russian prisoners of war. The soldiers then set up several machine guns around an existing nearby ditch, by the side of the road and immediately took their positions.
Barba-Dimitri and a few other curious townsfolk approached the area to find out what was going on, but they were waved away by the soldiers.
As he passed by he overheard the Russian POW's chatting amongst themselves and he understood what they were saying. It was the first time that barba-Dimitri heard Russian being spoken since returning to Greece as a Russian refugee.
He was born and raised in Russia, after his parents had settled there as refugees from Ponto (A region of Greece by the Black Sea, that was annexed by Turkey).
When he returned home satisfied from his little walk outside, he started to package the head lice powder with the help of his wife and his daughter in law. He carefully cut small squares out of newspaper and then placed a teaspoon of the powder on each of the squares which the two women carefully transformed into small newspaper satchels. After about two hours they had packaged the two kilos of lice powder into hundreds of small satchels.

Barba-Dimitri's merchandise, was all organised (and ready to go?), once the soaps and combs were placed into another two bags. It was the 19th July 1942, mid-summer and July was proving to be a particularly hot month. The following day barba-Dimitri loaded the merchandise and then climbed (/clambered?) onto Whitey, with the intention of riding him into the surrounding villages, to start selling his wares. The Germans however were everywhere, and their checks had now become more frequent and rigorous, so barba-Dimitri decided to return home, before he got a chance to sell anything. More and more Greeks were arming themselves often with rusty old rifles and joining the Resistance. The Resistance (Antistasis) comprised of various bands of guerillas, these partisan bands were known to the Greeks as Andartes. Barba-Dimitri was aware of all the adverse developments, which deeply concerned him. However he was quick to comfort his wife and dismiss her fears with his usual response “A little patience my dear, all will come to pass".
He never rested while he was at home. He would groom his horse and then go out for a walk down the road. That day, he looked across the road towards the commandeered shops and spotted the Russians. This time they were carrying a large, steaming, cooking pot. He walked up to them and greeted them in Russian and they showed their delight by smiling and
enthusiastically greeting him back. The German guard, however, projected his bayoneted rifle towards him and angrily asked him to leave immediately. Barba-Dimitri heeded the warning, raised his arms above his shoulders and returned home.
Before closing the gate he looked back and saw the Russians and the German soldier staring back. Later that afternoon he tried approaching the shops once more with the hope of chatting to the Russians, but the guard warned him to leave and he had to once again obey. He kept persisting and on the third day, the guards started to relent and become more tolerant.
The guards perhaps started to view him as an old man, with a kind, smiling face and, seeing that he lived just across the road, were starting to get used to him.

He finally got to speak to the Russians again that day once they exited the building. The Russian captives specialised in canning and preserving meat, thus providing tinned meat to the German army.
"Dimitri", they said, “Our troops are presently retreating in Russia and readying themselves for the big offensive, which is planned to coincide with the arrival of Karol-Zima (King Winter) and then we will surely defeat the Germans. The war will be over quickly Dimitri".
Barba-Dimitri took this opportunity to ask if he could have the horns of the slaughtered animals and they promised to ask the Germans for permission on his behalf. He then cheerfully bid them goodbye and returned home. During that week truckloads of animals, due (/destined ?) to be slaughtered arrived and were unloaded on a daily basis. Barba-Dimitri counted (/tallied?) them but was mindful not to approach the slaughterhouse until the following week.
One day he spent the whole morning peering through a crack in the front yard gate at the slaughterhouse and spotted the Russians exiting with a large pot. He walked across to them and was pleasantly surprised to see two sackful of horns waiting for him, that the Russians, had previously packed.
The German guard paid scant (/little?) attention to barba-Dimitri as he carried the first sackful across the road and then returned to pick up and carry the second. The following day he hitched his horse to the wagon and went to the villages to sell his yet unsold wares.
He underwent quite a few checks by the time he arrived at Meliti. Upon ariving there, he first went to visit a relative at his home and then accompanied him to the village cafe. That afternoon he returned to Florina having sold most of the merchandise. From the sales he ended up with money, flour, butter, and plenty of bread which he planned to resell as rusks (paximadia).
Domna was once again admiring her husband and didn't t hesitate to praise him one evening after dinner, when Eleni happened to be present.
"I admire you Dimitri! I always admired you for your courage and resourcefulness". He had just laid his weary body down on the sofa and with his head resting comfortably on a folded cushion and with his wife's kind words was soon drifting off to sleep, with a smile of self satisfaction on his face.
Life in Thessaloniki had made barba-Dimitri streetwise, he knew what it took to get by and he always looked for the easier and safer option.
Things were not going too well at the moment and death lay in wait, for the unwary.
Lately the Germans became enraged, when one of their soldiers was killed in an ambush by a partisan band. In reprisal a company of German soldiers gathered fifteen Greek adult males, including a priest and hung them in the village of Kladorahi. It was the 9th August of 1943.
Barba-Dimitri therefore decided to stay home with his grandson and family and let two weeks go quietly by. The partisan attacks were becoming more frequent, resulting in an increasing number of clashes with the Germans.
Barba-Dimitri started to visit the Russians more frequently at the slaughterhouse, thus he also
became known by the Germans as they frequently saw him, often accompanied by his grandson. He asked the Russians one day if they could mediate with the Germans, to help
him apply for a licence to work as a travelling merchant, so that he can continue to support his family. Luck was on his side once more, as he gained the licence he sought, which he had to renew on specified dates.
Barba-Dimitri made a narrow slit in his coat's lapel and inserted the licence, to prevent the partisans from finding it, which would surely lead to his demise. His trade route to and fro Thessaloniki was thus officially open. It was December 1943 and Christmas was approaching.
One morning barba-Dimitri walked to the station with his grandson, hoping to chance upon a truck driver who was heading to Thessaloniki over the next few days. Fortune smiled again as he found someone heading that way, the following Saturday. Buoyed from having secured his ride, he walked down the route that led back home. He was however concerned by the foul smell that the two sackfuls of horns he intended to take with him, would surely produce (emit ?) on the truck. When he arrived home he therefore emptied out the sacks, thoroughly washed the bones and poured salt over them, making (rendering?) their smell more bearable (less obvious?/concealing their smell ?).
As promised they left on that Saturday heading to Thessaloniki, with the two sackful of bones on board. When he arrived at the comb factory in Kalamaria, Thessaloniki, he was surprised to see that there were another two workers employed and amazed at the obvious progress.
He unloaded the bones from a horse and cart transporter ? that he engaged at the old station in Thessaloniki, where the truck driver from Florina had left him.
Barba-Dimitri's return trip to Florina was more dangerous and tortuous/winding/circuitous ? than ever, as he had to often pass through skirmishes between the partisans and the Germans. He finally managed to return home safe and sound, just after Christmas, to the relief of his anxious family. Young Achilles rushed into his grandfather's waiting arms, and proudly showed him his Christmas
present, a shiny, metallic toy gun. The toy immediately made barba-Dimitri feel uneasy and he angrily berated the boy's mother"What made you choose a gun of all things, weren't other toys available?" He blurted.
Offended by his tone, she angrily yelled back, " He needs to learn from young, so that when he grows up he will not let his father's murderer go on living", inadvertently revealing her real and deep seated feelings.
"Bang! , bang! I'm going to kill the bad man that killed my father", Achilleas exclaimed.
They all looked at each other with fear and puzzlement, whilst Domna continued to cross herself and appeal to a higher source. She appeared to be glaring angrily at her daughter-in-law, beneath her black scarf, which covered all her hair apart from a white fringe.
Eleni started to sob uncontrollably and could hardly articulate any words that would express her pain. She felt repulsive following her father-in-law's remarks and was reacting in an unusual manner. She hated the world, since losing her husband, and this hatred was now evident to her in-laws. Barba-Dimitri couldn't bear it any longer and went outside for some fresh air, as he felt constricted.
Domna attentive as always hugged and kissed her daughter-in-law "Don't cry my darling" she said "Giorgios was our son, think of our pain too as parents ".
From that day forth barba-Dimitri and Domna were careful not to criticise Eleni again, in regards to Achillea's upbringing, fearing a similar intense confrontation would bring about a possible rift with their daughter-in-law. As a result Eleni was free to raise her son, as she saw fit.
 
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